how did you ever get here
one winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "it was so slippery out that for every step i took ahead, i slipped back two."
the boss eyed him suspiciously. "oh, yeah? then how did you ever get here?"
"i finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
a man tried to get a job in a stage show. "what can you do?" asked the producer.
"imitate birds," the man said.
"are you kidding?" answered the producer, "people like that are a dime a dozen."
"well, i guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.
In the veterinary office where I'm a technician, we mail out reminders when pets are due for vaccinations. Bruno, a German shepherd, arrived for his annual rabies shot, and we were required by state law to ask his owner if Bruno had bitten anyone in the last ten days. "Oh yes, in fact that's why we're here," she replied. Surprised, I told her we assumed they'd come in because of our reminder.
"We did," she explained. "Bruno bit the mail carrier who was delivering your card."